Girls like fat guys dating
I was afraid of getting hurt if he wasn’t actually interested in me. Being open and honest with myself, let alone anybody else, was terrifying. I can only remember through the eyes of an obese, insecure teen girl.Though it would be interesting to know for certain, I’m glad I never clarified my relationship with Mike.I dwindled down my conversations to a handful who were smart, thoughtful and intriguing. If you can honestly say ‘yes’ to all those questions, you don’t need to lose weight to date. That’s not the way to find friends or maintain healthy relationships. I tried to lose weight because I thought I would make more friends.And one of those conversations turned into how I met my husband. To stop worrying about others, I needed to start focusing on myself. I tried to lose weight because I thought that’s what society wanted. I’ve worried about others’ opinions for the majority of my life.Yet I forgot the opinion that mattered most—my opinion of myself.After Mike, I tried to force it with a guy named Forrest. Caring, funny, talented, gentle, heartfelt, playful, passionate. Our friendship began that summer and stayed strong.
Being unhealthy, lethargic and cranky weren’t part of my goals. Maybe Forrest wasn’t one of the guys who like big girls. Now I wouldn’t, since I realize what you weigh and eat is connected to how much you value yourself and your life. It’s PART of the package, whether we like it or not.I didn’t build up the courage to tell him until over a year after we met. My questions danced between two topics: did he know I liked him, and was it possible for him to like me, or someone like me—a fat girl. I wasn’t being subtle and yet he had made no counter-move.When I confessed how I felt, he replied that he’d known the whole time. And, he’d known my feelings about him for over a year and never said anything. At the time, I told myself I wasn’t being obvious enough.But I wasn’t about to accept the first guy that came my way. I constantly worried about talking and acting perfectly.
I was polite and naïve, so I replied to any guy who didn’t message me with “Hey” or “You’re hot”. Mainly, it’s about physical intimacy, emotional intimacy and adding enjoyment to your life. If you can’t honestly say ‘yes’ to those questions, you might need to lose weight. I focused on pleasing everybody and making them like me. I tried to lose weight because my mother wanted me to.
I was waiting for the moment when he would finally understand me and be repulsed. If you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to understand why someone else would love you. I didn’t love myself and didn’t get much love from my distant family or friends. You can’t replace self-love with love from another.